The start of the school year is an especially busy time for families. Sometimes it can seem like children are taking on too much or you can worry about how they're handling everything they have to do. And while you may be tempted to jump in and do everything for them, you can actually create learning opportunities for your children (and time-saving opportunities for yourself) by applying the following 3-step leadership concept.

Step 1:  Create Opportunities for Your Children

You may need to release your grip on having things done your way, and promote the growth of someone (your child) taking on new responsibilities. In the beginning, you may need to invest more time explaining the task than it would have taken you to do the job yourself. However, this exercise is more of an investment in the person, the process and your family. This eventually frees up more of your time to graduate to a higher level of activity, or perhaps result in a few moments of free time. You may need to ask yourself, "Am I the best person for this task?"  Doing so may create opportunities for your children to take on more responsible roles.

Step 2: Maintain Ongoing Communication

My good friend had a plaque made for her home that, which says, "Hope is not a strategy."  She explained to me that she couldn't "hope" friends returned her calls, or "hope" that her children followed up on the tasks she gave them last week, or "hope" that her family found time to spend together. She challenges her children with growing responsibility as they earn it. As a parent, she maintains ongoing communication on each idea or task as if it were her own.

The key to doing this successfully is having a full inventory of everything you expect your children to take responsibility for and then to hold ongoing conversations so there is still time to act if an unexpected situation arises. It's important, however, to avoid advice-filled lectures, which often bring conversations to an abrupt end.

Try the following lead-in question with your child, "How much time will you need to finish up with your projects this week?" Asking your children to talk about what they need in order to solve a problem shifts responsibility away from you dictating what needs to happen, and keeps the conversation moving in a positive direction. At the end of the conversation, you will have a clear idea of your child's goals and the plan for achieving them. In addition, your child leaves the conversation feeling acknowledged for the effort and responsibility he or she has taken.

Step 3: Hold Family Meetings

The final key to successful leadership as a parent is the family meeting. Scheduling a consistent time to meet with your family allows for an ongoing review of your family's progress. Reviewing progress provides a valuable opportunity for you to talk with your children about how things could be done differently in the future—a learning strategy that results in real change. Each time your family meets, your children build on their past success and consider opportunities for change in the future.

Here are some ideas to make your family meetings successful.

• Begin the meeting with acknowledgements. Everyone has an opportunity to acknowledge the person seated to the right for something positive. You don't need to return the acknowledgement but would continue the round by acknowledging the person seated to the right of you. Beginning the meeting with acknowledgements puts everyone in a positive frame of mind, lets everyone know that their efforts are valued, and sets the stage for a productive and collaborative discussion.
  
  
• Encourage your children to come to the meeting with ideas and questions of their own so that the meeting is truly a "Family" meeting rather than a "Mom and Dad Meet with the Children" meeting, a model that many families seem to slip into.
  
  
• Post a piece of paper or a white board where all family members have the opportunity to add questions or ideas for the upcoming meeting. A few rules need to surround the agenda though in order to keep it from becoming a laundry list of items that you skim through. Perhaps you can choose to allow everyone to add one question to the agenda. This ensures people bring the item that is their biggest concern.
  
  
• To handle any frustration that arises during the meeting, have a rule that any member of the family can call for a timeout and in doing so can freely state his or her frustration or confusion. However the person who called the timeout must add the following question after sharing his or her feelings: "How can we change what we are doing so that there will be less frustration or confusion?" This helps lead to even better communication in the future.

Make It a Great School Year 

Great parents understand both the big picture with respect to their child's development, and how to shift responsibilities that empower their children to step up to new roles. Great parents know that when everyone has a vested interest in the family, and people are acknowledged for their contributions, real change happens. Goals are exceeded, and family members are excited and engaged in moving forward.

Implement these three ideas and you will be on your way to making this year a successful school year for the whole family!

Jason W. Womack, MEd, MA, and Joe Bruzzese, MA, are California-based authors and expert speakers. Joe's recently-published book, Parents' Guide to the Middle School Years, gives you practical and specific tips to succeeding in the life of "5-9", while Jason's articles and speeches give executives and office professionals the secrets to thriving during the "9-5" hours of life. Bring them in to speak for your team or referral partners and give the gift of work-life balance. Visit www.ThinkingForwardTV.com and www.WomackCompany.com.