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		Drake Bloebaum Mortgage Professional Neo Home Loans Phone: 801-893-0452 License: NMLS 225567 CA-DOC 225567 drakeb@neohomeloans.com www.drakebloebaum.com

March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012		Relationship Roundtable 9 Tips for Successful Family Meetings In an age of iPads, smartphones, on-demand everything and constant daily distractions, being able to effectively communicate with your children is more important than ever. Recent studies show that properly communicating with children helps their critical thinking skills, and moral and social development. In light of youth violence and incarceration rates in the U.S.--the highest in the world--psychologists at Colorado State University research 40 years of research on the impact of family involvement in child development. From this they discovered compelling evidence that families who meet together on a more formal basis experience positive family changes. It's no secret children who have positive communication within their families are more successful in school and less likely to suffer from depression and anxiety. They also develop other functional skills that greatly benefit them as adults such as listening, brainstorming, problem-solving, and having mutual respect for others in a group. Alarming statistics aside, family meetings don't just benefit the kids. Family therapist, author and mother of seven Jane Nelson says regular family meetings also help parents develop better listening skills. In these settings parents are forced to interact and work out common power-struggles. By doing so, they model real-life communication and mediation skills in front of children, providing learning opportunities from real-time and interactive situations. Family meetings are a fun way to improve communication in the group, set weekly goals, diffuse anger and arguments before they get out of hand, recognize and reward progress, and determine each member's needs and feelings. If you'd like to introduce family meetings into your schedule, here are some tips on getting started: Make it pleasant. Meetings are best-held in non-formal environments. Mealtime, particularly over dessert, generally allows for a peaceful environment. Lead the discussion. Parents should establish discussion ground rules and make sure to stay on topic--it should also be clear that parents have the final word on any decisions. Make it positive. Meetings are a great time to hand out allowances (makes for a compelling reason to be on time), discuss positive events, and give praise and rewards for progress. Make it mutual. Meetings should emphasize both the individual and the family as a whole. Use the time to share family news or upcoming preparations (like birthdays, events or vacations). Listen carefully. Each person should be allowed as much time as he or she wants without interruption or criticism. Keep it on the light side. Family meetings are not the time to scold or issue punishments or single anyone out. Such issues should be addressed well before family meetings, one-on-one. Keep track. Designate a person to keep notes. How formal the system is up to the family. It can be the same person each time or, if children are old enough, rotated. Keep track of main points, individual goals and progress, rewards, and any decisions. Timing is everything. Keep the meeting no longer than 30 minutes unless you're all having such a great time that the entire family agrees to continue. It happens! How did it go? Before adjourning everyone should be able to suggest their ideas on how to make future meetings even better. If a more formal family meeting doesn't seem workable in your family right now, don't worry! Simply eating meals together is a reason to share and celebrate--or when making any kind of plan that will involve everyone in the family, like holidays, vacations, or getaways. These helpful tips will make your family meetings lots of fun and help create a lifetime of memories together.

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